In the Country of the Blind, the One-Eyed Man is King



'You go down there, General...if you've got the nerve.' Jack Crabbe (Dustin Hoffman) to General Custer (Richard Mulligan) in 'Little Big Man'

Read Mike Golby's devastating analysis/reaction to Paul Rogers' article A Long or Short War?


The final two paragraphs:

'The success of Richard Perle's and the Project for the New American Century's long-term agenda relies on America's 'defeat' in the Gulf, the instillation of global loathing, and a grudging acceptance that the 'little criminal bastards' will take what they want. Once Americans are driven to accept conscienceless murder as the order of their New World, and supported by tens of millions of unthinking U.S. citizens, the monsters driving U.S. foreign policy will stop at nothing, dominating through fear and intimidation.

America, the new Evil Empire inured to criticism by the isolation of the damned, will rule the world and its resources. And, to the small satisfaction of billions, it will occasionally suffer the consequences of doing so.'

King George Bemoans Unfair War Practices

Messenger: Sire….

King George: Yes, messenger. Give me the news. And it had better be good.

Messenger: Sire…

King George: Speak man, speak!

Messenger: But..sire!

King George: Give it to me!

Messenger: But sire..the news is…

King George: Give me the news, man, or I’ll have you flogged!

Messenger: The War over there…sire…is not….ummm…good.

King George: What?

Messenger: We are….losing, Sire..

King George: Losing!? You must be mad. We are the greatest Empire on Earth… How can this be!

Messenger: Sire…they are not following the civilized rules of war. They will not listen to reason. They will not give up.
They will not stay still so that we can destroy them with our superior military might!

King George: What? What is this you speak of?

Messenger: Sire...they have no respect at all. They are flaunting all that is good and right. They are hiding in the woods with French revolutionaries and shooting our men down one by one. We are very easy targets. Walking side by side in our red coats. Sire, they are laughing at us.

King George: Hiding in the woods??? Laughing??? Savage uncivilized cowards!

Messenger: Yes, sire…Barbarians.

King George: Have they no respect for Civilization? Have they no respect for Tradition? Have they no respect for our Superior Fire Power? Have they no respect for themselves????

Messenger: No, sire…they are Barbarians who would rather be independent than follow our rules!

King George: (Faints; they work to bring him to):

Attendants: Sire…sire…drink the tea…this will revive you.

King George: (reviving) One should have known! If they are capable of throwing tea into the harbor, God only knows what future barbarism they are capable of!

Attendants: I cringe at what the future might bring.

King George: Savages.

Attendants: Indeed, Sire…indeed. Perhaps they've been mixing with the Natives.

Pope Accused of Trying to Delay Carnage


The Pope, in collusion with God, has been accused of trying to delay carnage in Baghdad by whipping up serious sandstorms.

An unidentified Pentagon spokesman explained: ‘Ever since the Pope came out against the President, we have been monitoring him closely. After spotting him using French Wine and French Vanilla Wafers during the Eucharist, we knew it was just a matter of time before he tried to use the Red Phone.’

The Pope replied: ‘I only use the Red Phone in emergencies. I would say this qualifies.’

According to the Unidentified Pentagon Spokesman: The Pope had indeed made contact with God…but fortunately we were able to jam the signals before the Two of them could do any more damage to freedom than just sandstorms. Unfortunately, we were unable to trace the exact coordinates of God. However, we did send a few precise smart bombs in the general direction.’

President Bush was too busy mooning over a texas tortilla that had mysteriously taken the shape of Jesus in full military garb to comment. However, some close to the President say they heard the words ‘Moab..Moab..Moab’ coming from his beatific lips.

Too preoccupied primping for the cameras and plotting the next step in the Plan for the New American Century with Richard Perle, Rupert Murdoch, Dick Cheney and the board of directors of Halliburton, the Devil had no comment.

Al Pacino has already agreed to play him in the movie. Francis Ford Coppola said that the Catholic Church is very very important to gangster movies. The contrast between the beauty of the sacrament and the horror of cold-blooded killing is essential to the creation of art.’

Martin Sheen replied: Still in Baghdad. Shit.

When Citizen Murdoch was asked if he’d ever seen Citizen Kane, Murdoch replied:

‘Kiss my Rosebud! There is only one true God…and it’s time everbody realized that!’