You Live Your Life as if it's Real

Name: rays

Saturday, June 14, 2003

Painted Plastic
painting by Cynthia Korzekwa of Ikastikos








The stars drop down one by one
there aren’t any left;
they’ve all been bought and sold;
some marked down for much less
and dropping still like so much detritus
upon what was once called the sea;
discounted and discarded
into a million plastic dinghys
upon many a forgotten wave floating
into her hands she holds them;
calling them not by their given names
but transmuting through the nameless
them into something else;
there’s alchemy in paint
dough unformed in each and every one;
hope in awareness,
the darkened canopy sways
poems in the dogma
in pages torn and thrown away;
don't call it faith, beauty in the flood
where innocence is swept away.





Only Business

fabricated are the houses
foundations lie
in streets of gold
processed
cheese spreads
to a town near you
big and bold
coming soon
are the strawberries
redder than any red,
but aint this dream
of redness
the best dream yet?
who remembers sweetness
who remembers the source
aint it ours to make
what we will of it?
The world is a bakery
adaptable are the noses
risk carefully managed
uniformed DNA
security a global matter
laughter produced in cans
mass produced like graves
Manipulate me baby
Put it on my headstone cubicle
No one knows their neighbor
I feel you on the screen
education for the labels
it's only business
oh look Gerber’s
has turned
to cat food
save your rage
for the road
the fries cry freedom
that's a take
the skies genetically alter
but who could know
the difference
when we’re all from here.
.

Friday, June 13, 2003

LOOK OUT MAMA, THERE'S A WHITE BOAT COMIN' UP THE RIVER...

'Ain't nobody down with me I'm thuggin, I can't go home
Cause muh-fuckers think I'm buggin, so now I'm in
this high powered cell at the county jail
Punk judge got a grudge, can't post no bail, what
do I do in these county blues
Gettin battered and bruised by the you know who
And these fakes get to shakin when they face me
Snakes ain't got enough nuts to replace me
Sittin in this, livin hell, listenin to niggaz yell
Tryin to torture em to tell, I'm gettin mail
But ain't nobody sayin much, the same old nuts

Yeah it aint easy being me
Will i see the penitentiary
or will i stay free...
But no it ain't easy, hahahah
Til I see my niggaz free, on the block, oh
It ain't easy bein' me'

-- lyrics by Martha Stewart

Thursday, June 12, 2003

High Water Calls It Quits



Alan Watts' Blues
by Van Morrison

Well I'm taking some time with my quiet friend
Well I'm takin' some time on my own.
Well I'm makin' some plans for my getaway
There'll be blue skies shining up above
When I'm cloud hidden
Cloud hidden
Whereabouts unknown

Well I've got to get out of the rat-race now
I'm tired of the ways of mice and men
And the empires all turning into rust again.
Out of everything nothing remains the same
That's why I'm cloud hidden
Cloud hidden
Whereabouts unknown

Bridge
Sittin' up on the mountain-top in my solitude
Where the morning fog comes rollin' in
Just might do me some good.

Well I'm waiting in the clearing with my motor on
Well it's time to get back to the town again
Where the air is sweet and fresh in the countryside
Well it won't be long before I get back here again.

Jeez. What can I say? My good buddy, George P., the main reason and inspiraton I ever started this blog (and writing again, after a 15-year hiatus) is saying goodbye to High Water. His reasons are good ones; I don't question them (and I know there are some others that he left out); but if i were a betting man, i'd have to say he'll be back. Refreshed, renewed and full of the heart and soul that we've come to know and love so well; hope so anyway!

How easily we get lost in the shadows
as we grasp for dance steps of ourselves
mimicking movement against a routine wall;
why is it we can't see
what others see so well (ourselves)
some they speak in tongues
talk of bright bright lights
some they speak on and on
but say nothing at all
some they speak with
nary a word like quiet
light through the trees;
in the end, it's the
conversation that's all.






Tuesday, June 10, 2003



Two Old Men and a Lake


Off in a little corner of one of Dante's lesser known rings, you know, the one for writers:


Ernie H. and Billy F. still aren't talking to each other.


Every day they get into some sort of contest for which the prize is a beautiful woman who comes every day to check their progress, and to see if they have solved the great riddle that will allow them to move on. She--who may or may not be played by Hugh Grant's ex--has supplied them with the hint that the solution is to be found in each other's work.


Ernie won't even look up from his fishing rod, which is cast way out into some reddish glowing lake, apparently borrowed from the set of a wildly underbudgeted B movie. And though Billy F. is beaming inside--after all he had gotten the better flow in the latest pissing contest and had come out the victor--he silently concentrates on the sawing and hammering of a certain box he is constructing.


Finally, Ernie exclaims: "Next time, we're gonna arm wrestle for her!"


Billy can't help but laugh.


"What's so damn funny?"


Billy chuckles some more.


"What? 'Cause you know I always win."


"Cause i let you." Billy replied.


"Let me!?? Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa."


"I wouldn't want you to kill yourself or anything."


Ernie tries to hoist the rod in Billy's direction, but it gets caught somewhere in the depths of that B movie set.


Interminable silence ensues. Ernie stews quietly.


Lost in their own thoughts, they begin to contemplate the mystery of each other's words.


Until finally Ernie spews: 'Goddamnit, Bill, where's the verb?"


And Billy replies: "Hmm...that's the flow, Ernie. The flow. Go with it. The voices take over.'


Ernie: "The flow? Voices? Jesus, keep that shit to yourself. It just ain't natural."


Billy: "Well, you know you could use a few more adjectives here and there."


And a celestial choir of angels sings! The lake flashes from red to blue. 200 large marlin fly in a glorious arc before gracefully hitting the water again. A French judge somewhere stands, ovates and hatches 10 eggs. He gives it an absolute 10. Several one-arm bandits all over Reno go ching ching ching. (Well, only 2 fish actually managed to jump, and one should totally ignore the scratching that accompanied the angels' song).


But then Ernie spoke:


Ernie: "Hell no, keep it terse, concise..."


Bill: "...and stiff?"


Ernie: "Goddamn right."


And everything returned back to the way it was. Back to the way it always is.

Ernie: And what is this goddamn "My mother is a fish! My mother is a fish! My mother is a fish shit!"

Billy: Do I have to explain everything? That's the imagination, the consciousness of One... What the hell is your Old Man trying to catch anyway?

Ernie: Your mama!

Billy: My mama? Oh yeah catch this!!!

Billy tries to lunge for him; but his feet are glued to the ground; Ernie's line is once more caught,
the mystery dangles just out of reach.

She enters, as she always does, and says in a flirtatious voice tinged with disappointment, as it always is:


'You almost had it there, boys. We're--you're-- gonna be here an awful long time until you learn to..to...(she rolls her eyes). Is it really that hard to figure out?"


And as she bends over in all her archetypal glory to refill their flasks, the last thing they have on their mind is leaving.


They don't seem to mind that they aren't going anywhere.




Traction

What do you mean you’re in traction must be some cause to the effect
The responsibility of our actions;You were fine when you left acting without a net
(you forgot you were married I forgot I was bereft)You told me you knew yoga
some ancient Oriental wisdom; a man of my Position (it’s a spacious backseat;
don’t do that thing with your eyes); how’d we get into this one? oh it’s safe it’s safe;
security is sleeping; all the other cars are parked; your shoulderstraps are creeping
(never mind that probing light; just a heat seeking missile seeking the night is wet and moist
the fog will do just fine for various affairs business as usual on a Saturday night;
(we could’ve gone to a hotel; really I said) Don’t ask; just conjugate a few verbs;
and I’ll mark it right there; There's a hole in the roof; how did it get there?
(oh it’s a convertible anyway and the moon dont mind and Dean Martin thinks it's amore)
The wine came all the way from Italy (not sure from where this Godfather music came);
I said we wouldn’t do it If it were to cause any pain; but you said not to stop;
I said I couldn’t do it without falling in love; (sorry to my male heritage; it must be a genetic defect; now we’re in the soup) But now you say you can’t move; and though we walk on air; the things we do to feel the folly of youth; a little tenderness



Monday, June 09, 2003

Spotlight on Three

Richard Cody of Notes from a Life in Progress, Crystal King of We Write to Taste Life Twice and Stanton Finley of Observations:

Big Sur (Impressions)
By
Richard Cody

I

Castro Creek splashes toward the Pacific,
abandoned to gravity and something like enthusiasm
informing the liquid chatter.

It is a hopeful sound despite what I know –
that happy babble must soon be lost
in the surf which pounds and crashes
and foams below.

The ocean is a presence here.

Even in the folds of mountains
close among the shadows of the trees,
away from the rolling tide
and cool salty breeze, the ocean
maintains itself in memory

(those waters are deeper,
the shores more broad
than any in reality).

II

Trees outnumber human beings here.
Oak and Pine and California Redwood
make a minority of man.

We walk beneath them, consider them
inanimate.

The truth is
we simply move too fast to see
the reality of a tree.

The quick pulse at our core
impels us forward into life.
A Redwood only moves toward the sun.

III

On the hearth, as we watch,
the slow consummation of fire and wood.

It was a pine tree.
Or is that Oak glowing
in the crucible of flames?
Neither now, the log has been transformed
into heat and light
and shadows on the wall.

All around us now is a night
that can be described only as profound.

City dwellers like myself
have known only a false night.
Here, blank staring darkness takes on real meaning
when you step away from the pale aureole
of the porch light.

But step away, find in that living dark your night eyes,
and you will see things that are merely ghosts
in city skies.

Sunlight reincarnated in the silver moon.
Stars shining a thousand years in the past.
Constellations mapping the sky.

I could step outside now,
begin counting those points of light,
and continue until the day I die.

IV

A few days away from daily news
and the buzz of huddled masses,
the general drone in which cities speak,
I find myself listening to something
I have never heard before:

silence.

The cackle of crows in the morning,
the bark of dogs at night,
the hum of cars spinning along Highway 1 –

These sounds come and go,
the silence here is never done.

The Santa Lucia Mountains are haunted by it.
On the beaches it hides beneath the crash
of waves. It is only punctuated
by the voice of the sea.

The quiet here is a secret
proclaiming itself constantly.

“Listen,” it seems to say.

Bypass
by Crystal King

The bark was rough against my back and
The rain danced tiny patterns on
My cheeks while you talked of
Indians running through mossy forests.

The tree loomed above our wet heads
Vertical shadows in the darkness and
Reminded me of natural umbrellas carried by
Mossy Indians running through forests.

I wanted to touch my drunken lips
To yours and let the rain run through
Closed eyelashes but you only spoke of
Running Indians through forests of moss.

Wet pineneedles stuck to our pantlegs and
You looked out into the rain above
The trees and past my heart where
Indians ran through moss-covered forests.

Untitled
by Stanton Finley

we strive
we give
we give up
we take
we are human
selfish
and selfless
base
and noble
no paradox
the saint is such
from stumbling
upon his miracle
we are a coin
flung in the air
one side in the light
the other in the dark
alternating
as it spins
a coin
which must have two sides
to exist at all
we regret our folly
in hindsight
and we cry
unseen
aching
for redemption