Oh those Wacky Georgians!



Superintendent of Georgia schools and Republican, Kathy Cox, has decided to nix her idea of banning the word evolution from Georgia textbooks and changing it to 'biological changes over time.' Other words she is still considering changing include:

Genocide: this word will be changed to 'sudden biological changes over a relatively short period of time by morally superior liberators.'

Sharing: changed to 'the distribution of wealth, goods, and workers amongst other God-fearing rich Christians over time.'

Islam: will be changed to Christianity over time.

Masturbation: will be changed to 'an evil act which will cause biological changes such as blindness over time; temptation is strongest before marriage; and often appears after marriage over time.'

Sex: will be changed to 'an unholy act outside of marriage, made holy only by married couples for the sole purpose of procreation, after which it is hardly necessary or desirable.'

Marriage: 'a sacred union between men and women only for the purpose of social order, procreation; the holiness of which can be dissolved through mental and or biological changes over time.'

Evil: 'any non-Christian, non-Bible thumper, non-American flag waver, non-profit generating slackers, church and state separators, which cannot be converted but can be minimized through righteous bombings or extreme sanctions, such as through the burning of cds, books, and other holy measures.'

Slavery: changed to 'an imaginary state that never existed, an evil concept that was created by communists, liberals and other Evil doers as an excuse for underachieving.

Education: The works of Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, William Safire, Ayn Rand, Jesus (excluding that stuff about usury and rich people getting into heaven) the bylaws of the Corporation etc. and the Bible, excluding the parts about women as second class citizens and thou shall not kill.

Persecution: What happens to God-fearing Christians by non-believing Church and State Separators, and the liberal educators and media.

American Values: see Education.

Heroes: Those who make lots of money and those who give their lives for America, the Corporation and the spread of true Christianity.

Charity: 'Tax breaks; not to be confused with socialist programs.'

Government: 'An entity that shall promote Family Values all over the globe, which requires a huge military, a non-questioning media and breaks for the rich.'